yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize