just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize