Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
