so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize