I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He better not be in your backpack
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
