FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
