lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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