Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
