i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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