you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
