We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
