This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
