There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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