The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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