Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
