he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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