you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
