Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
