My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
