Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize