i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize