She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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