is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
