I think scott just propositioned me for sex
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
