i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
