My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think i got beer on your cat.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
