3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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