She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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