it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
