Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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