is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
