What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
