he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
