I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
