She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
