dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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