I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize