yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
