I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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