Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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