the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My vagina is officially offended.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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