Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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