but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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