If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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