arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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