ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
