Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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(804): View more from Virginia

just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Ask politely.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Thats good enough.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover

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(801): View more from Utah

The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts

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(310): View more from California

If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is

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(863): View more from Florida

our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane

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(801): View more from Utah

He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash

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