we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
