Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
