I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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