So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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