Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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