i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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