ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
