I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
