Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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