even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
