eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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