can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
