Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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