Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
