I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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