CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think your dad took our porno
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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