Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Randomize
