Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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