I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
