i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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