Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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