I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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