Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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