YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
