she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
