K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
